Every single day from 1:20-1:40 I want to pull my hair out. I hate nap time. Putting a talking toddler to bed is a nightmare. It goes a little something like this:
Me: Payton, let’s go potty and get a drink of water.
P: Nope, not right now, I don’t need a go potty.
Me: Ok, well it’s nap time, so let’s go get in bed.
P: No! I need to go potty and get a drink of water!
Me (laughing, and not in a good way): Ok then, potty and water.
P slumps up the stairs on her bottom one by one, then literally drags her feet on the ground to the bathroom. Then stands in the bathroom just looking around.
Me: Payton, take off your pull up and get on the potty please.
P: Nooooo…you do it!
I take of her tutu and her very dry pull up, then plop her on the potty.
P: You go downstairs and wait. Go waaaaaay downstairs far away and wait. Go Mama.
Me: No Payton, I’ll wait for you here. One more minute to try. (Oh and on a side note, she isn’t potty trained, she only has to go potty when it is convenient to delay something, such as nap time.)
Then I pull her off and pick up her pull up.
Me: Ok Payton, put your pull up on.
P: Noooooooo. I don’t want that pull up, it has pee in it! I don’t want it, it’s dirty! Go get me a new diaper. Not a pull up, I need a baby diaper.
Me: Payton this pull up is clean, you are going to wear it. You don’t get a drink of water until you put it on.
Finally she puts it on. I fill up her cup with water.
P: Nooooo! Bigger! More water! (Falls to the ground flailing and screaming.) More water!
Me: I’m going to dump this water out, do you want it or not?
P: (Sits up quickly) Yes Mama, I want it. (Then sits on the ground taking baby sips, sip by tiny sip by tiny sip.)
Me: One more sip and bedtime. Put your cup on the counter please.
P: Noooooo…I’m not done! (I shoot her a glare…she puts it on the counter.)
Me: Ok, into bed now.
She drags her feet as slow as possible. I finally pick her up and put her in the bed, turn her fan and noise machine on. Cover her up.
Me: I’ll sing you one song today and scratch your back…Twinkle twinkle little
P: Nooooo! Sing ABC’s!!
Me: A, B, C, D……
Me: Ok now let me turn your music on and time for bed. (Turns music on and shutting door.)
P: Noooooo Mama (runs to the door) I have to go pee and get some water!
Me: No Payton, we already went pee and had a drink of water.
P: Mama, I have to pee again! Again! (Falls on floor flailing about.) Again! Again! I have to pee again!
Me: No Payton. No. Get in bed or there will be no music for nap time.
P: Again! Again! I have to pee! I need water!
Me: That’s one.
P: I have to give Miles hugs!
Me: That’s two.
P: I have to give Miles hugs and kisses! But Miiiiiiiiiilleeessssssssssss!
Me: That’s th (and Payton gets in bed before I finish the word three).
P: Scratch my back! Sing to me!
Me: Payton, we already did that. I am going to give you kisses and leave, it’s time for night night.
P: (Shakes head back and forth as fast as she can.) Nooooo! I don’t want kisses! No kisses!
Me: Ok then sweet pea, no kisses. I love you lots, night night. (shuts door)
P: Nooooooooo! I have to pee! Mama…I have to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I walk away, she fusses for a while…then 25% of the time takes a nap and 75% of the time plays in her room. Ahhhhhhh! Every.Single.Day. And this is the shortened version!
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