The tale of putting a toddler to bed and a Mama going crazy!

Every single day from 1:20-1:40 I want to pull my hair out.  I hate nap time.  Putting a talking toddler to bed is a nightmare.  It goes a little something like this:
Me: Payton, let’s go potty and get a drink of water.
P: Nope, not right now, I don’t need a go potty.
Me: Ok, well it’s nap time, so let’s go get in bed.
P: No!  I need to go potty and get a drink of water!
Me (laughing, and not in a good way): Ok then, potty and water.
P slumps up the stairs on her bottom one by one, then literally drags her feet on the ground to the bathroom.  Then stands in the bathroom just looking around.
Me: Payton, take off your pull up and get on the potty please.
P: Nooooo…you do it!
I take of her tutu and her very dry pull up, then plop her on the potty.
P: You go downstairs and wait.  Go waaaaaay downstairs far away and wait.  Go Mama.
Me: No Payton, I’ll wait for you here.  One more minute to try.  (Oh and on a side note, she isn’t potty trained, she only has to go potty when it is convenient to delay something, such as nap time.)
Then I pull her off and pick up her pull up.
Me: Ok Payton, put your pull up on.
P: Noooooooo.  I don’t want that pull up, it has pee in it!  I don’t want it, it’s dirty!  Go get me a new diaper.  Not a pull up, I need a baby diaper.
Me: Payton this pull up is clean, you are going to wear it.  You don’t get a drink of water until you put it on.
Finally she puts it on.  I fill up her cup with water.
P: Nooooo!  Bigger!  More water!  (Falls to the ground flailing and screaming.) More water!
Me: I’m going to dump this water out, do you want it or not?
P: (Sits up quickly) Yes Mama, I want it.  (Then sits on the ground taking baby sips, sip by tiny sip by tiny sip.)
Me: One more sip and bedtime.  Put your cup on the counter please.
P: Noooooo…I’m not done!  (I shoot her a glare…she puts it on the counter.)
Me: Ok, into bed now.
She drags her feet as slow as possible.  I finally pick her up and put her in the bed, turn her fan and noise machine on.  Cover her up.
Me: I’ll sing you one song today and scratch your back…Twinkle twinkle little
P: Nooooo!  Sing ABC’s!!
Me: A, B, C, D……
Me: Ok now let me turn your music on and time for bed. (Turns music on and shutting door.)
P: Noooooo Mama (runs to the door) I have to go pee and get some water!
Me: No Payton, we already went pee and had a drink of water.
P: Mama, I have to pee again!  Again!  (Falls on floor flailing about.) Again!  Again!  I have to pee again!
Me: No Payton.  No.  Get in bed or there will be no music for nap time.
P: Again!  Again!  I have to pee!  I need water!
Me: That’s one.
P: I have to give Miles hugs!
Me: That’s two.
P: I have to give Miles hugs and kisses!  But Miiiiiiiiiilleeessssssssssss!
Me: That’s th (and Payton gets in bed before I finish the word three).
P: Scratch my back!  Sing to me!
Me: Payton, we already did that.  I am going to give you kisses and leave, it’s time for night night.
P: (Shakes head back and forth as fast as she can.) Nooooo!  I don’t want kisses!  No kisses!
Me: Ok then sweet pea, no kisses.  I love you lots, night night.  (shuts door)
P: Nooooooooo!  I have to pee!  Mama…I have to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I walk away, she fusses for a while…then 25% of the time takes a nap and 75% of the time plays in her room.  Ahhhhhhh!  Every.Single.Day.  And this is the shortened version!

The result –
Some days we get this:
Payton Olive 2 years old (558)
Most of the days we get this (and clearly she is tired!):
photo 2
And oh how I miss this:
photo 1

About JulesJ

We have grown from a family of three to four! I am a full time wife and Mommy, and a part time Registered Nurse in a busy Medical Cardiac ICU. My hubby works at Microsoft...that is what brought us to Seattle. We have the most adorable little girl...born October of 2011. Plus we have a new little bundle of joy in our life, our little prince was born February of 2014. We live in Issaquah, WA, about 20 minutes east of Seattle...though we are true Texans at heart. I am just trying to capture those every day moments so we will have memories to last a lifetime.
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3 Responses to The tale of putting a toddler to bed and a Mama going crazy!

  1. OMG! I hate to laugh but I have to. I feel as if you put a tape recorder in my home. Lol! This happens to me at nap & bedtime. My daughter always says not small water/juice/milk, biiiiiigg. They are very clever at stalling, aren’t they?

  2. WILLIAM says:

    Hi……When do you start your first novel. You may not know it, but your cute storyline sounds like Erm trying to put your Dad down for a nap. The world might change but some scenarios stay the change. Go in today for a Thyroid nodule biopsy. Thought these were supposed be my golden years. Luv you guys. G/G

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