Toddler talk from an almost 3 year old…

I put on a fitted tank top…
PJ: Mommy, is there a baby in  your belly?
Me: Umm no dear.
Cue Byron rolling on the floor in laughter.  Cue extra ab work for me.

My little sweetie…
Me: Payton pie, Mommy has a headache.
PJ: Oh no, you don’t feel good?  Can I put a Band-Aid on your head and give you some medicine?  Can I give you hugs and kisses?  Do you need some little snuggles?

Payton turns around quick and runs into a tower fan knocking it over and it falls on the ground.  Payton flails about whining.
Daddy: Payton, the fan was there first, you have to watch where you are going.
PJ: Daddy!  Daddy!  YOU have to move it out of MY way!

PJ: Mama what time is it?
Me: 3:30
PJ: Oh ok.
PJ: What time is it?
Me: Still 3:30.
PJ: Oh ok, I see.
PJ: What time is it?
Me: Stiilllll 3:30.  Still 3:30.
PJ: Ohhhhhhhhhhh ok.  Yeah, I thought so.  That’s what I thought.

Me: Payton, take off those shoes before you trip and fall…they are way too small.
PJ: NO!
Me: That’s one.
PJ: NO!
Me: That’s two.
PJ: NOOOO! (Slowly walks down the hallway shaking her head side to side, holding the shoes in her hands, and under her breath says…) Damnit.

This lovely discussion was emailed out by Payton’s summer camp teacher:
“Payton , what are you doing love?”
“Painting Georgie..”
“Why yes you are..  how about we paint the paper instead?”
“No, I like painting Georgie.. “
Her best friend Georgie-bug: